broken dreams...um, computers

This morning I woke up from a really bad dream, rolled over and must have gotten out of the wrong side of the bed because I started to think about how my computer (that started beeping S.O.S. the week after I got married) is officially ruined.  The motherboard apparently is shot.  It wasn't exactlly the best timing, the first week of school, newly married -now, I've lost my music, my photos, and my skype camera.

We took it into the Mac repair shop and they told us that if it was the memory that was wrong it would be easy and inexpensive to fix, but if it was the motherboard it would probably have to be replaced.  That was when they asked about the warranty.  The original warranty was expired and my most generous brother had given an extended warranty but, that was when we realized that I had NOT activated it correctly at the time.  Needless to say, I feel very, very foolish.  There is no way I will be able to purchase a new computer and it is too expensive to fix.  If I had activated the warranty, I would have a new computer now, not a broken one.

Alas, then I started thinking about not having Skype and realized that I haven't spoken on Skype with anyone since I came to Panama. I have a new baby nephew (hurray!) but, I don't know when I'll get to see him since I'm so far away and unreachable by Skype at the moment.  Anyway, I'm done lamenting.  I think I might feel better now.  I hope everyone has a nice day.

One month...

As of last Tuesday, I've been married for a month.  It has been a busy, exhausting month but, when I think about all of the things thay we've done this month I think that getting married and living in Panama are two wonderful choices I've made in life.

Let me see, in the month of August I started teaching Spanish to 4th, 5th, 7th and 9th graders at an international school here in Panama city (less than two weeks after getting married).  I've partially moved twice this month and this week will move (hopefully for the last time) into a more permanent house.  It should be a great place to live.  I've also purchased a car and started driving in Panama city.

If you've never been to Panama you will not be able to grasp the significance of some of those acomplishments.  Driving in Panama city is one of the scariest things I've ever tried to do, I have to admit that I feel quite proud of myself for even being willing to try.  It also opens up the possibility to do a lot of things that are just impractical without a car.  We even discovered a fantastic coffee shop relatively close to my work, a great place to meet up, chat and read a book.

I've started teaching and that is a responsibility that I love.  I am thrilled to be a teacher.  This week something very exciting happened.  The International Book Fair of Panama.  Ariel and I were in heaven there.  The greatest thing that we discovered was a new literary non-ficcion journal that is starting up.  It is called El Guayacan.  I'm super excited to see something like that happening here in Panama.  I want to figure out how to be a part of something like that.

I am excited about what is happening in Panama culturally and I'm excited to maybe get to be a part of it!

Married!

I have been married for one week, today.  It is wonderful to get to be in the same space as Ariel, to get to make our meals together, to talk, to read, and just be in the same physical space.  It is something both of us have longed for and it is so good to finally be together. 

All of the preparations before the wedding were a bit exhausting (to say the least) but, the wedding was just as I imagined it.  I had told Ariel that I imagined a wedding that started three days before,with friends meeting each other for the first time, just being together... it was amazing to have so many people from so many different parts of my life all together in the same place. 

The wedding day was also what I wanted.  As far as I know, nothing major went wrong.  There were things that we had talked about doing that we didn't do but, the most important things were in place and the ceremony was simple and meaningful, just as we hoped it would be.  It was so good to be able to stand there, looking at Ariel, smiling, and then be able to glance over and see so many people who've walked part of the journey with me at some point in my life.  It was beautiful.

We had great food and a good time just hanging out with everyone who came during the reception.  It felt just like it ought to, celebrating our love, and sharing it with the people who've loved and supported us along the way.  It was perfect. 

telling stories

Today, my brothers and I headed over to the American Art Gallery and saw the new Norman Rockwell exhibit.  The exhibit is called, Telling Stories: Norman Rockwell from the Collections of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. 

I love Norman Rockwell probably just as much as the next person.  His paintings are warm and personal.  You feel like you could and would like to know most of the people in his paintings.  He gives you a sense that things are well or that they will turn out well. 

It was interesting to look at the collections from the perspective of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg since they are such successful film directors.  The emphasized that one of the things that they love about Norman Rockwell's paintings that he tells a story in one frame.  He captures details, emotions, and even action in a single picture.  

I love that idea and as I think about storytelling and wanting to be a better storyteller myself, there is a lot to learn from the idea of storytelling being like taking or painting a picture.  The writing of the story requires adding all of those details, the emotions, the movements, and the colors that make you feel like you know those characters or you have been in that place.  

I'd love to be as good of a storyteller as Norman Rockwell.

hello storytime!

I am about to leave Washington, DC to embark on a new chapter of life.  I'm going to get married and will be learning to live life together with Ariel.  It's not surprising that I'm feeling introspective and re-visiting my sometimes neglected blog. 

I have a feeling that I'll be writing a bit more frequently for a while.  I'll have so many exciting new things to write about!  Getting married, living in Panama, starting a new teaching job, making new friends... I'm sure the list will be endless.  

To make things even better, I'm marrying my best writing companion.  We have always enjoyed writing together so, this space and others will probably be kept up with more diligence since it's something that we both enjoy and want to do with our time.  This will probably make my mom very happy, since recently I have not been very consistent in telling the stories of things happening in my life.

Needless to say, if you read my blog... welcome back.  =)

sad and happy

Spending a great day with my brother made me realize just how lonely I've been in the past few months.  I have missed just having someone to be a friend and do random stuff like go drink tea, read, talk, wait around, etc.  I have a mixture of sad and happy tears right now.

brother in town

Andrew made it safely to DC tonight!

some bonhoeffer

Thank you Megan, this is perfect.

"Nothing can make up for the absence of someone who we love, and it would be wrong to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; God does not fill it, but on the contrary, God keeps it empty and so helps us keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain ... The dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation. But beauties of the past are borne, not as a thorn in the flesh, but as a previous gift in themselves. We must take care not to wallow in our memories or to hand ourselves over to them, just as we don’t gaze all the time at a valuable present, but only at special times, and apart from the keep it simply as a hidden treasure that is ours for certain. In this way the past gives us lasting joy and strength."

Dietrich Bonheoffer

happy (lunar) new year!

I forgot to say "happy year of the tiger" to everyone on Sunday.  I've been enjoying the "lunar new year" stamps these days as I've been loving the snow break to write cards to my friends. I think this is going to be the best year of the tiger ever.

That being said, we went back to school today after our snow storm break.  We were thinking of all the snow related compound words like "snowman", "snowball", "snowflake"... I also had to respond to the principle's question about individual's intent to return next year.  

To be honest, I teared up as I was writing it.  I am going to miss it there.  I have had a very good experience and feel like I've learned a lot.  The people have been so incredible and I'm so thankful for such a wonderful team of people.  I know I'm not leaving yet but, I want to make the most of it.

Not that I'm completely sad.  The truth is that I'm mostly happy because in addition to having to say goodbye to lots of wonderful things in my life, this year is also going to be filled with new and wonderful things (like getting married) and hopefully experiencing and learning in another school setting.

so much on my mind

They say that if you have a lot on your mind to write you should just start writing it and then your ideas will come together. I hope that happens. Last night I was talking to one of my aunts and I realized that she reads my blog! I didn't know. I wonder how many other people read my blog and I have no idea that they read it!

There is a lot on my mind, like the unrest in Honduras and the beautiful weather in DC this summer. I've been reading Till We Have Faces and more than anything experiencing the odd sensation of being "in between". I will be going on a two week trip through Central America in less than two weeks. I know that as soon as I get back my life is going to be a whirlwind of activity no matter what ends up happening to me next. I am literally experiencing the calm before the storm.

I realized this week how much I am like a bird. I can make myself at home, sing, and delight in a place but, without too much difficulty, my heart can turn and open itself up to a new adventure and a new place. I have come a long way, I promise, I believe very, very much in investing in people and in staying places. I think "staying" is a big part of changing places. But, I also believe that I am not going to fix or ruin a place and if I have opportunities to live and be alive in other places, I don't have to pass them up.

This week I've spent more time alone than I have since the first two weeks of January. I like having time alone. It makes my time with people that much more wonderful. Other things I've been thinking about a lot recently are the words of Jesus "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? " and Solomon "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven". Sea lo que sea, por algo será.

deeply intentional life together

I have had so many things going on in my heart and life right now. Everything from realizing how much I love being part of a community of hospitality, enjoying my parents, sunny days and hammocks, evenings with good music and friends, reflecting on changes in the past 10 years of my life, enjoying worshiping with other Christians, celebrating birthdays with good friends and other simply good things.

I am figuring out and stumbling through 'life together', figuring out how to 'be' here and love people deeply elsewhere. I'm also struggling to embrace my limits, my emotional and physical limits. I have been deeply challenged by the Christian community I'm a part of here. I have been thinking about Mission, Community, Discipleship, and the Gospel. Two of my friends have participated in the meetings where the messages about those ideas were shared recently. I have been listening to the messages and have been talking to them about those ideas.

my nephew

Zachariah James

Tabitha and Zachariah

Luke and Zachariah

It's good to share beautiful pictures of wonderful people.

I'm an Aunty!

Yay! As of 9:01am today, I am officially "Aunty Hannah" to Zachariah James!

Advent Retreat 2009

Coincidence...

I just want you to meet my brother's creative side...

He made this last year while he was living in Costa Rica. Making these kinds of shorts is what he likes to do in his free time... it's fun.

I got to spend this Christmas with my parents. It was refreshing and good. It was the first time that I'd been in Honduras for Christmas without one of my siblings, that part was incredibly odd.

Sushi Anyone?

Israel and I had talked about making and eating sushi the whole time I was in El Salvador. The unbelievable part was that we didn't eat any together until the day before I left. So, to make up for the three months of not eating sushi together we went out in style and had more sushi than either one of us could eat in one sitting (even though we did pretty good, I'll have to admit). I don't know if I can quite describe how much I'm going to miss Israel.

Isra and I finally enjoying some sushi together.




Eduardo doesn't like sushi but, he enjoyed himself anyway.

safe arrival in Honduras

I've arrived in Honduras. My trip was uneventful in the best possible way. I ate breakfast three times today, once before I left, on the first flight, and on the second flight! My flight companions included a guy from El Salvador and a guy from Kentucky who travels to Honduras every other week on business! Kentucky guy had lots of interesting business travel stories including visiting places like the UAE, Pakistan, and Thailand. My parents were at the airport to get me and it feels good to be here. We went grocery shopping and then we came home.

I love my parents house. It is a very traditional Honduran home made out of adobe. The hammock, the coconut tree, and the gorgeous forest are all part of living here in Santa Barbara, Honduras. I'm going to spend a couple days here relaxing in my parents' care.

talking about a visit to Idaho

Well, this will probably be a chatty post about my visit to Idaho. All has gone well. I arrived Friday night and was ready and there for my friends wedding on Saturday evening. It went perfectly [a little long, heh heh]. No, seriously, it was lovely. You know how weddings are and you never really get to talk to your friend who is getting married so, you end up catching up with everyone else who is there that you haven't seen in ages.

Sunday, a great day to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a while, hang out with my aunts, and pick up my cousins flying in from California. Monday was a quiet day together going out in the evening to visit family friends. Tuesday we decided to drive down to Rupert to visit my great-aunt and uncle. It was a good time. I stayed up late talking with my cousins.

Today, I had a lovely brunch with one of my friends and her mom. We got to talk about life and what we're hoping for and celebrating... it was nice. I spent the afternoon with my other great-uncle. I don't know if other people are as connected to their great-aunts and uncles and we are but, I think it's great to hang out with them and hear their stories.

I have many thoughts on church, politics, military, friendship, hospitality, and faith since I've been here. I may post some of them and I may just wait to talk about them with you in person if you're interested.

one who excels in telling stories and anecdotes.

Someone asked me if it bothered me to write [like on this blog] and not get any response. I was thinking about it and I guess it's just a matter of expectations. I don't particularly expect to get a response to everything that I write here. Like I said before, this is a form of writing discipline more than anything else. In other circumstances, I would be upset to not get a response to something I've said or written. It's not that I don't enjoy getting responses...

I just stumbled across the word "raconteur" which means: one who excels in telling stories and anecdotes and realized that I found my ideal job description in a word. "Raconteur." If you happen to see any job postings for a "raconteur" pass it on!

Yesterday, without much pomp or circumstance my younger brother and I got to tour where my older brother works. Mostly family, wandered around the building, peered into cars, and took pictures. They only have an open house once a year and that is the only time that they allow guests into their compound. Interesting, huh?