Wednesday, April 15, 2009

rainy, beautiful, hopeful

Last night I stayed up until an unreasonable hour talking to one of my lovely housemates. "I am younger now than I was five years ago," I said after she pointed out how surprisingly complicated I am. (There are parts of me that are so calm and together and others that seem so insecure and out of place.)

The past 10 days have been so packed full of work, relationships, hopes, questions, etc. that I am feeling overwhelmed with the gifts in my life. I'm thinking through a pretty big decision right now about the type of work I want to pursue this next year and about trying to stay in DC for possibly a couple more years.

I am more than flirting with the idea of staying here for a couple of years and that emotional posture is obvious as I look around and see the needs in my community and wonder how we can be a part of doing something to help. That got me into a very intense discussion with a friend that ultimately made me realize that as much as I want to be detached, I genuinely care.

Then Easter came. Well, first we came to Dark Friday. It was not good, it was the darkest day, and it was deathly silent. Saturday was grey and rainy. We stayed up all night waiting expectantly for the rejoicing in the new day and returning of life. It was the most beautiful celebration that I’ve ever been a part of in my whole life. God became human, He identified himself fully with us, He loved us, and then we crucified Him. It was death like all others and yet unlike any death, it was the death of the Son of God, God himself? What an incomprehensible mystery.

Then He rose from death. He was dead and now He is ALIVE! Life was returned to where there was none. That is why I can be younger today than I was five years ago. Life can be restored. We can be renewed; hope can be found where it was lost. I hope for hope for my friend who lives on the streets because He lost everything accidentally. I hope for hope for my friend who has lost her best friend. I hope for hope and life.

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live the questions now... R.M. Rilke