Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I thought you were indifferent

I am lucky to have a friend from TWU staying with me this week. She is finishing up an internship at the Children's Defense Fund and needed a place to stay for the last week. I am happy to be able to share my space with her and she is great company! It makes the looking, waiting and frustration a little gentler when someone is around.

The other day someone told me "I thought you were indifferent" in regards to wanting to spend time with people. Indifferent? I don't think I could be further from indifferent. People [and friends!] are in a large part the joy of existence, why would I be indifferent? I didn't know how to respond. I mean, "Of course I'm not indifferent!" couldn't possibly communicate how deeply I am interested.

There might be something to the "I thought you were indifferent" comment that I should try to understand. I am confident that most people are afraid of being rejected, of being alone, of not being accepted when people see them as they really are. I know I have those fears but, what have I done to communicate that I am indifferent? Is it that shell of self-protection against being hurt that sends off the "I don't care" message? Possibly.

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live the questions now... R.M. Rilke