Thursday, May 28, 2009

facebook culture is strange


Sometimes, I don't like facebook. I mean, I enjoy the fact that it allows me to "connect" with people who I haven't seen or heard from in a while but, I'm not a big fan of the rest of the facebook culture.

First of all, I am a big fan of being connected to people in real spaces. This might sound odd coming from someone who relies almost entirely upon the internet (email, skype, blogs) to stay in touch with the people she most loves but, it is also BECAUSE I have to rely so much on the internet that I dislike it as a mediator of relationships.

I will forever prefer going on a walk with a friend, sitting with someone at a coffee shop reading a book, making dinner together, laughing together, etc. to the type of relationship that happens on facebook.

I don't like facebook because of how it makes me feel about my relationships. Mostly because I don't actually spend a lot of time on there, I don't actually participate in the "facebook conversation" and so, when I do "check" facebook... I feel overwhelmed. It gives me a sick sensation that I am somehow out of the loop and that those people who are actively leaving posts on each other's "walls", tagging each other in their "notes", and commenting on their friends regularly updated "status" somehow have a deeper, closer, or more real relationship than I have with those same friends. As if the long exchange of comments on someones facebook page makes them more special and leaves me out.

The moment I catch myself feeling that --it makes me feel kind of sick. Whatever happened to real people in real spaces? I have a hunch that just one evening spent with one of those people will give us a stronger sense of proximity and closeness than months of random "poking" and "wall posts" on facebook. It is a very weird thing to feel "left out" of something that is so impersonal to begin with. So, even though I will not stop using facebook because it is an interesting and even entertaining way to stay in touch with some people it will never replace real relationships and the goodness of being able to look at a persons eyes, hear them laugh, listen to them talk, and see them smile.

1 comment:

Ariel said...

No necesariamente un cosa implica la otra, puedes manejar facebook, sin alejarte de tu mundo real o puedes no tener facebook, ni skype, ni messenger e igual no tener contacto con el mundo real ;) es cuestión de balance una vez más... igual entiendo tu punto...

live the questions now... R.M. Rilke