Do you really think that we can end poverty?

This week I was at the Mobilization to End Poverty put on by Sojourners, an organization with the mission "to articulate the biblical call to social justice, inspiring hope and building a movement to transform individuals, communities, the church, and the world."

This week has been particularly strange for me. I returned to DC in January after being out of the country for the fall and I feel like I have changed completely in this past year. A year ago, I wanted to change the world, right now... I want to love my neighbor. I don't want to be a social worker, international development officer, foreign correspondent, educator or any other type of job without first being a "good neighbor" wherever I happen to live. That is not so simple but, also not so complicated.

I feel like one thing that wasn't clear to me all week was the definition of poverty. I mean, I believe that significant structural/social change can happen (it has happened in the past with the abolition of slavery, the civil rights movement, etc.) but, I don't know if 'poverty' is as clear of a social problem to be able to 'end'. Unless we are talking about 'child hunger', 'sex trafficking', or other specific things --I'm not sure if we will be able to 'end poverty' in the same way that was so passionately announced during the conference this week.

Poverty is not just the absence of economic resources and political will (even though these are important) but it is also sustained by the absence of relationships, social links to help and support.

I went to the session on Children, Race, and Poverty and heard the dire statistics about childhood poverty and dropout rates. One in three african-american boys will drop out of high school. One in three of the boys in my second grade class. Then, I went to my 2nd grade classroom yesterday afternoon to have one of my beautiful 7 year old boys start hitting his head on his desk, on the wall, and on the floor saying, "I want to kill myself. I just want to die. Life isn't worth living." He's 7 years old!

I wanted to burst into tears as I held him and told him of his worth and uniqueness. That is poverty. He has clothes and goes to school but, he comes home and his mother isn't home, his brothers don't make food for him, so my little 7 year old ends up making himself dinner, "I eat hot dogs" he says. Can we end this type of poverty?

I have felt so burdened by these things and even though I actually feel an overwhelming amount of hope because I see people building relationships with 'the poor', but I don't know if we will actually be able to 'end poverty' quite so simply.

This morning, when I was walking to work I saw David, a homeless man who always encourages me to not stop having compassion on people. He never asks me for money, he just asks me if I remember his name. I always stop if I see him, even if I'm late to work. He told me that last week he wanted to commit suicide and that he doesn't know how long he can put up with the circumstances he is in. This morning he told me, "You cannot change the world, but you can continue to have compassion."

How do we define poverty? Can we really "end poverty"?

what a lovely day...

I went to NYC...

I think I mentioned that I went to NYC last weekend. I actually have a few funny stories from my time there. Overall, it was GREAT to have time to wander around the city, watch people, think, read, etc. I did love New York City even though I don't think I'd want to live there, not right now at least.

who does that?

I make pie charts of everything I need to do . . . for fun.

I don't know myself

Señor y Dios mío, no tengo ni idea de adónde voy.
No veo el camino que se abre ante mí.
No puedo saber con certeza dónde terminará.
Tampoco me conozco realmente a mí mismo,
y el hecho de pensar que estoy cumpliendo tu voluntad
no significa que la esté cumpliendo realmente.
Pero creo que el deseo de agradarte, de hecho, te agrada.
Y espero tener ese deseo en todo cuanto hago.
Espero no hacer nunca nada que se aparte de ese deseo.
Y sé que, si lo hago así, Tú me llevarás por el camino recto,
aun cuando puede que yo no lo sepa
Por eso confiaré siempre en Ti,
aunque parezca estar perdido y en las sombras de muerte.
No he de temer, pues Tú estás siempre conmigo
y jamás vas a dejarme solo frente al peligro.

Thoughts in Solitude, p. 83

this i used to believe

So, the other day I was listening to This American Life episode 378 called This I Used to Believe and in Act Two of the show they told this story about a woman who had lost her best friend to cancer. This is the synopsis:

"This past Christmas a story swept the internet about a football coach at a Christian high school in Texas who inspired his team’s fans to root for the opposition: a team from the local juvenile correctional facility. Among the thousands of emails that the coach received in response to his actions, one stood out to him. Trisha Sebastian mentioned her loss of faith, and coach Hogan got a message from God that he was meant to bring her back."

It was SO sad. I cannot even begin to describe how frustrating it was to hear Ira Glass have something more appropriate to say to the girl about the death of her friend than the Christian coach. It is sad how often Christians are not good at listening before they start giving "apologies" to people who don't necessarily need or want them.

P.S. I would love to work here. And THIS is SO romantic. Oh my. He's taking one picture of Nadine every day, for a year.

orange sky

Last night I went to a concert and it was really good. "Your love..."

Yesterday, I think I came to a really interesting realization about what I need "to do next."

words about you

"tengo urgencia de oírte
alegría de oírte
buena suerte de oírte
y temores de oírte"

rainy, beautiful, hopeful

Last night I stayed up until an unreasonable hour talking to one of my lovely housemates. "I am younger now than I was five years ago," I said after she pointed out how surprisingly complicated I am. (There are parts of me that are so calm and together and others that seem so insecure and out of place.)

The past 10 days have been so packed full of work, relationships, hopes, questions, etc. that I am feeling overwhelmed with the gifts in my life. I'm thinking through a pretty big decision right now about the type of work I want to pursue this next year and about trying to stay in DC for possibly a couple more years.

I am more than flirting with the idea of staying here for a couple of years and that emotional posture is obvious as I look around and see the needs in my community and wonder how we can be a part of doing something to help. That got me into a very intense discussion with a friend that ultimately made me realize that as much as I want to be detached, I genuinely care.

Then Easter came. Well, first we came to Dark Friday. It was not good, it was the darkest day, and it was deathly silent. Saturday was grey and rainy. We stayed up all night waiting expectantly for the rejoicing in the new day and returning of life. It was the most beautiful celebration that I’ve ever been a part of in my whole life. God became human, He identified himself fully with us, He loved us, and then we crucified Him. It was death like all others and yet unlike any death, it was the death of the Son of God, God himself? What an incomprehensible mystery.

Then He rose from death. He was dead and now He is ALIVE! Life was returned to where there was none. That is why I can be younger today than I was five years ago. Life can be restored. We can be renewed; hope can be found where it was lost. I hope for hope for my friend who lives on the streets because He lost everything accidentally. I hope for hope for my friend who has lost her best friend. I hope for hope and life.

Stand by me

I love this project. It is a collection of singers from all around the world recorded and mixed together to make one music production/video. It's so great.

before I go to bed...

"Do the things you love, and love the things you do."

Now, you can sleep.

I'll ask for the sea

"You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea"

la muerte empieza a ser la nuestra

Cuando éramos niños
los viejos tenían como treinta
un charco era un océano
la muerte lisa y llana
no existía.

luego cuando muchachos
los viejos eran gente de cuarenta
un estanque era un océano
la muerte solamente
una palabra

ya cuando nos casamos
los ancianos estaban en los cincuenta
un lago era un océano
la muerte era la muerte
de los otros.

ahora veteranos
ya le dimos alcance a la verdad
el océano es por fin el océano
pero la muerte empieza a ser
la nuestra.

Mario Benedetti

everyone speaks english when they're little!

Today, I told one of the little girls in my class that I spoke Spanish when I was little and she looked at me with this strange face and said, "But, everybody speaks English when they're little" and I told her that not everyone, lots of people speak different languages when they're little. She didn't believe me. I realized how never traveling outside of the country would really change the way you see the world (or not change it).